Some New Stuff I Recently Got Into [read, write, talk, love]

Received the new issue of  "In Communion"  the journal of the Orthodox Peace Fellowship.

Also received the new issue the journal "Christian Apologetics" in the mail. 
Excellent journal / magazine.  Find it & read it, lest you be a chode!

Just finished reading "From the Ashes of Sobibor" by Thomas Toivi Blatt.  Supposedly a true story about a Jewish kid who escapes from Sobibor work camp in Poland, in 1943 or so.  He's on the run all over Poland dodging Nazis & Polish & Russian Partisans who are unfriendly to Jews.  Him & some other random Jews who are homeless & stateless, hide out in various barns, silos, & haystacks.  As well as forests, woods, cellars --abandon buildings--you names it he's squatted there.  Very fast paced story & book.  There is an added interview that the author conducted with one of the head guards from the camp, done in 1983.   The German military officer served 16 years in prison & was filled with regret over what allegedly went on in this & other work camps, or concentration camps as they are also called.  In some ways the author seems to relish in continually bringing up atrocities & alleged mistreatment that may or may not have gone down that way 40 years earlier.  World War II was terrible--for everyone, NOT just Jews, Gypsies, or Jehovah's Witnesses.  German & Polish civilians had a horrible time, especially towards the end of the war.  Yet it is the Jews who are usually in a position of power, with the media and various governments, so they can push the books, movies, TV shows, magazine articles, etc, about the "German Holocaust™ of European Jewry."  It's as if the Jews call the shots in the public's everyday lives!  OK OK, I'm not some Neo-Nazi or total conspiracy buff (tho I do follow many of the alternate historical theories laid out by minds more brilliant than mine) but I now know that there is WAY more to this holocaust™ story than meets the eye!  Especially after learning that in fifteen countries it is a FELONY to ask questions about 
the official holocaust™ story line!  Why in the heck does truth need to be protected by prison
time?!??!  Well, this is fodder for many many more posts.  Just read this book if you happen to
find it somewhere for free.
Published by Northwestern University Press. ♥

*Also watched "The Amityville Horror" from 1979 with Cheryl the other night.  Such a damn good movie.  But I kind of stick to what my friend Deacon Dave said recently:  he doesn't watch movies like this because he knows the evil one is all too real.  Sometimes movies, books, music, or other art
in this vein can be a sort of "doorway" through which Satan or any of his demons can creep into one's

mind, body, or life in general.  I don't want to come off as some sort of 'holier-than-thou' Bible thumping, closed minded, scaredy cat, but maybe Deacon Dave's message is worth paying attention
to?  Lord knows I've done things MY way for a long long time.  And look where it's gotten me! ♥
-----> [Edit 1/28/2013]  Strange to re-read a simple post like this, where I mention watching a DVD
  with Cheryl, me now ex-girlfriend.  I've been missing her for the past several months, and we have
  been talking, emailing, and texting each other.  She says she would like to try to be friends first,
  to maybe start over that way & then see where that leads.  Then maybe we can get back together,
  she stated.  However, she has turned me down, all fifteen times that I've asked her out over the past
  three months.  She even sent me an email telling me the CORRECT way to ask a woman out, and
  told me, "feel free to use this advice on me or any other woman!"  So I asked her out the way she
  suggested was proper, and she IGNORED my request!  LOL, then I reminded her that I had asked
  her out, and she claims to have FORGOTTEN that I did so!  LOL, I've never been fed such a line 
  of utter bullshit, lies, and disrespect in my entire life!  I was slack-jawed as I read her email explain-
  ing this to me!  Seriously, I've been rejected & ignored before, but I think this one takes the cake!
  LOL!!!  Obviously she thinks I'm retarded & has absolutely ZERO respect for me!  So, I am now
  following the advice of my spiritual advisers & supportive people in my life: I just CANNOT even
  be friends with her at this point in time.  I'm not supposed to have ANY contact with her whatsoever.  She is toxic for me, and I DO NOT deserve this kind of bullshit or pain or lack of respect.  It's hard for me to do, because I thought I still loved her.  Turns out that I wasn't really in love with her, rather I was afraid of being alone!!!  I am worth much, much more than anything she can provide for me.  So I've had to move on, and perhaps at a later time we can be friends.  But at this point, anyone around me who treats me the way she has been treating me is NOT my friend.  Yes, 
I'm sad.  Not too sad, now that I see things in a different light, but a bit heartbroken.  Oh well, it will
pass, it always does.  Besides, she's not a millionaire, nor a beauty queen, (her words not mine) and
I'm quite confident that I can do much, much better. ♥

Checked out from the public library yesterday: "The Lost Sutras of Jesus: Unlocking the Ancient Wisdom of the Xian Monks" by Riegert & Moore.
"Lectio Divina" by M. Basil Pennington.  He wrote "The Monks of Mount Athos" which is a great book.  We'll see how this one turns out to be.
"The Eastern Catholic Churches: And Introduction to Their Worship & Spirituality" by Joan L. Roccasalvo.
"The Jesus Sutras" by Martin Palmer.  Good stuff.

Also wanted to mention some other books I'm currently reading very slowly, and probably won't finish for another year (as is my m.o. I read maybe two dozen books at once...little by little.)
"Gates to Buddhist Practice" by Chagdud Tulku.
"The Wisdom of the Desert Fathers & Mothers" by Wilson - Hartgrove.
"Praying the Word: An Introduction to Lectio Divina" by Enzo Bianchi.
The winter 2010 - 2011 issue of "The Journal of the Order of Buddhist Contemplatives."
"A Tree in a Forest: A Collection of Ajahn Chah's Similies" edited by Dhamma Garden.


Thomas Merton & Buddhism, & What I'm Reading--

"The Wisdom of the Desert" currently reading.

Also: The Catholic Hearth --various issues of this beautifully & artfully put together Catholic 1/2 sized journal, put out by The Neumann Press.

"Pure Land Pure Mind"  translation by J.C. Cleary. I love love love this book about Pure Land Buddhism.  Pure Land is the most prevalent form of Buddhism on the planet, but one of the least practiced in the West.  It has some similarities to Zen and can thus be practiced alongside Zen Buddhism.  I received many Pure Land books in the mail over the summer, and none of them have let me down.  As a matter of fact, I've got reading material to last me well into 2013!!!  Thank God for generous Buddhists!

And this reminds me of some of the Thomas Merton books I have that talk about his affinity for Zen Buddhism and Buddhist & Eastern religious practices in general.  Good stuff, get in to it!


St. Mina Retrteat Ctr., Troy, MI

St. Mina Retreat Center in Troy, MI

This place looks beautiful!  I've never been there but I have an open invitation to come.  I was communicating with a monk there, who sent me some chrismating oils, a few beautiful icons of St. Mena (Mina) and some small books written by Pope Shenouda III  (I believe that is how you spell their pope's name!)   Just an all-around nice guy...the monk I wrote to, that is.  

I have some more Coptic Orthodox information to post about.  I love my Coptic brothers & I want to learn as much as I can about their classic church.

Can a Christian become an Israeli Citizen?

Israel only allows Jews to become Israeli citizens.

In 1999, the Supreme Court of Israel ruled that Jews or the descendants of Jews that actively practice a religion OTHER than Judaism would not be allowed to immigrate to Israel as they would no longer be considered Jews under the provisions of the Law of Return.

Israeli legislators chose to make a clear distinction between the Law of Return, which allows for Jews and their descendants to immigrate to Israel, and between Israel's nationality law, which formally grants Israeli citizenship based on the Oleh's certificate. In other words, the Law of Return in and of itself does not determine Israeli citizenship; it merely allows for Jews and their eligible descendants to permanently relocate within the territory of Israel.
The state of Israel does, however, grant citizenship to any applicant who immigrated to Israel via the Law of Return if the applicant so desires, though this is not mandated by the Law of Return itself.




SKINGIRL, a photo by ♪♫PSICO--MOD♪♫ on Flickr.

My new favorite Byrd. This one's going into the collection I'm sending to Tackett in the joint.

Nice Picture of a Random Skinhead Chick--

I found this picture a year ago or so, on some kids Flickr page. He has a shit ton of great pictures of skin chicks on his page! I don't know who this byrd is, but for some reason I just really liked this photo. I fuckin' love the style skinhead girls have! Go Skins!!! ♥♥♥

skingirl by ♪♫PSICO--MOD♪♫
Ahhh, Skin Byrds!

Edge Day 2000

Unfinished documentary of the first 'Edge Day' show in 2000, Boston, MA.

Watch the video through the link I posted above.  IN MY EYES, TEN YARD FIGHT, BANE & MOUTHPIECE!!!  Makes me nostalgic for the incredibly awesome Posi-Fest shows!!!
Looks like a blast.  Yes, yesterday, Mon Oct. 17, was National Edge Day in America.
Get into it!

Speaking of Posi-Fest--someone stole my Posi-Fest DVD!  I want it back!  Though it will never be returned to me.  I know who the culprit is...the same guy who stole 900 CD's from me & 75 DVD's.  There will be justice coming, so watch yourself, sucker!!!


Cold & Rainy Here in Ypsilanti...

Out here in Ypsi a.k.a. Little Detroit, it's been raining all last night and all today.  Stop for a few minutes then start back up again.  Cold, like 51 degrees which is all relative of course.  In two months from now, 51 degrees will feel like a day at the sauna!
Ugggg, falling asleep typing.  Can't keep my eyes open.  Problem is I can't sleep either.  This morning I woke up at 6:30 and ate a Pop-Tart.  Then got up at 8:45, made some phone calls, & ate another Pop-Tart.  I love those things & I've averaged six a day for the past seven days.  Not good for me but oh-so tasty!!!


Lightening Never Strikes Twice

My ex-father-in-law was killed on Aug. 27.  He was struck by lightening in his own back yard while letting his new puppy do his business.  This is one of the strangest, most horrible, most random things I've ever heard of happening.  I feel bad for my ex-wife & her mother.  Not that they had any love for me towards the end of my marriage, cuz they most certainly didn't.  Actually I think they hated me. 
Still, I've had at least a half a dozen dreams in the past few weeks with him in them.  Weird, scary as hell vivid dreams bordering on nightmares.  Odd.


What I'm Reading This Week:

Saint Charbel  by Paul Daher.  St. Charbel is an obscure monk in the Eastern Christian tradition.

Father Arseny 1893 - 1973  translated by Bouteniff.  This book is great!  Basically it is a compilation of stories & anecdotes about Fr. Arseny, mostly during his incarceration in Communist Russian Gulags.  This holy man had it rough, but somehow persevered.  Great uplifting stores.  I really enjoyed learning about this priest & I always love reading about Soviet Russia.  WOW!  20 Million people were killed in the name of communism!  That's like four times the amount of people killed in Nazi jails.  Why do we hear so little about the plight of humans during this era?

Becoming Orthodox  by Peter Gillquist.
Magic & Mysticism  by Arthur Versluis
The Desert Fathers Sayings of the Early Christian Monks
Orthodox Prayer Life: The Interior Way  by Matthew the Poor
Saint Elisabeth the New Martyr  by Ludmila Koehler
Bill W.: A Biography of Alcoholics Anonymous Co founder Bill Wilson  by Francis Hartigan
Saint Bernard: The Oracle of the 12th Century  by Rev. Hugo H. Hoever, S.O. Cist.,Ph.D


VERSE video

This is a great clip from VERSE live in Germany August 31, 2008.
Get into it!!!

ALKALINE TRIO "While You're Waiting"

This is probably my favorite ALKALINE TRIO song!!!  This and "Queen of Pain" which are both from the split with HOT WATER MUSIC!!!  Good tunes for sure!!!
  "I'm not crying wolf you whispered, I'm really dead this time!"

PEGBOY "Strong Reaction"

Ahhhh, The almighty PEGBOY!!!  Now let me say this: singer is named Larry Damore, right? I always hated his name & the fact that he's a big teddy bear of a jock.  I know he was in the BHOPAL STIFFS, I even had their LP on vinyl, but he always seemed so "unpunk" to me.  I guess because at times I can be very shallow.

The Maronites

Maronite History Project

Cool website.  The Maronites are an Eastern Catholic Church that is in full communion with Rome & the Roman Catholics.  This church was founded by St. Maron in Lebanon.  And they are primarily all Lebanese.  There is no Orthodox equivalent church, like there is for many of the other Uniate Orthodox (Eastern Catholic) Churches.  I have a giant, hardcover book on the Maronites that was given to me by a Maronite priest from California.  Also have a few smaller books & some icon-prayer cards.  I have always been fascinated by Christianity, and especially Catholicism, of the middle east.

More Weird Dreams / Jail Guitar Doors

I no longer wear a nicotine patch to sleep at night.  Just don't really need it.  Besides, I was only using about 2mg's anyhow.  I would cut a 21mg patch into about 8 - 10 pieces and wear one of those small, small ones.  But nonetheless, I have had weird-ass dreams still.  Man, I can't remember the specifics of last night's dreams, but I keep getting that "elusive" feeling.  Like the more that I try to remember the more the dreams fades & fades away....Slipping through my fingers....

Sent out a letter & card to my friend Pat D. in prison today.  He recently got sentenced to 5 - 20 years state time.  He is currently housed in a psychiatric medium security prison in Whitmore Lake, MI.  Apparently this is one of our states adolescent prisons, formerly known as Maxey Boys Training Camp.  I'll find out the specifics of the prison from Pat when I hear back from him.  I hadn't seen him in a while so I looked him up on the MI Prison Info page and sure enough, there he was.  I'm sure he'll be excited to hear from me.  He's a good dude, just got completely messed up by the dual problem of drug addiction & bi-polar disorder.  Sent along a few icons & prayer cards, as well as some Catholic propaganda & a photo of me.  Inmates like this kind of stuff, to make collages with or use to aid in their prayer life.  I'll keep him in my prayers & you can too, if you're so inclined.

Also sent a letter to James N. who saw the parole board last month.  I think he'll find out real soon if he got his parole or if he got a flop.  But really, since he caught a new case while on parole (PV new bit) we're not expecting him to make his first parole date of March 2012.  One can always hope though, since he has a three year old son, his first & only, out here waiting for his daddy to come home.

And shot a letter & card out to my friend Eric L. today.  Eric will be coming home in Sept. of 2012.  He is eligible for boot camp but has yet to hear from them with the paperwork & specifics so he thinks he'll just do the time instead of messing with three months of boot camp & then three months out on a tether.  That state MDOC boot camp program is soft as hell these days!  Back in the mid to late 90's it was still rough going!  The corporals & drill sergeants put their hands on you, spit on you, knocked you down, picked you up, threw food at you, TOOK food from you, and just generally made life miserable for you.  From 5am until 10pm it was non-stop moving & hardcore p.t.!!!  Now it's like a behavior modification training program, with hardly any rough physical training!  It's actually called "MPRI" now.  That stands for the Michigan Prisoner Reentry Initiative.  The only real good thing to come from that program is that you must work hard to get your GED while you're there & they will pay the first three months of your rent when you get out, allowing a chance for you to get your feet back on the ground.
I don't know--writing letters to my friends & sending religious propaganda & some of my artwork--seems like the right thing to do.  It's not that hard for me but it means a lot to them.  Anyone who's ever been locked-up will agree.

The Ruthenian Catholic Churches

  From the Catholic Near East Welfare Association:

The motherland of Ruthenian Catholics is now in extreme western Ukraine southwest of the Carpathian mountains. The area was known variously in the past as Carpatho-Ukraine, Carpatho-Ruthenia, Carpatho-Russia, Subcarpathia, and now as Transcarpathia. Although the ecclesiastical term “Ruthenian” was formerly used more broadly to include Ukrainians, Belarusans and Slovaks as well, it is now used by church authorities in a narrower sense to denote this specific Greek Catholic Church. In terms of ethnicity, Ruthenian Catholics prefer to be called Rusyns. They are closely related to the Ukrainians and speak a dialect of the same language. The traditional Rusyn homeland extends beyond Transcarpathia into northeast Slovakia and the Lemko region of extreme southeast Poland.
In the late 9th century, most of this area came under the control of Catholic Hungary, which much later promoted Catholic missionary work among its Orthodox population, including the Rusyns. This activity culminated in the reception of 63 of their priests into the Catholic Church on April 24, 1646, at the town of Užhorod. The Union of Užhorod affected the Orthodox population of an area which roughly corresponds to today’s eastern Slovakia. In 1664 a union took place at Mukačevo which involved the Orthodox in today’s Transcarpathia in Ukraine and the Hungarian diocese of Hajdúdorog. A third union, which affected the Orthodox in today’s county of Maramures in Romania to the east of Mukačevo, took place in about 1713. Thus within 100 years after the 1646 Union of Užhorod, the Orthodox Church virtually ceased to exist in the region.
Early on there were jurisdictional conflicts over who would control the Ruthenian Catholic Church in this area. In spite of the desire of the Ruthenian Catholics to have their own ecclesiastical organization, for more than a century the Ruthenian bishop of Mukačevo was only the ritual vicar of the Latin bishop of Eger, and Ruthenian priests served as assistants in Latin parishes. The dispute was resolved in 1771 by Pope Clement XIV who, at the request of Empress Maria-Theresa, erected the Ruthenian eparchy of Mukačevo and made it a suffragan of the Primate of Hungary. A seminary for Ruthenian Catholics was set up at Užhorod in 1778.
After World War I, Transcarpathia became part of the new republic of Czechoslovakia. There were Byzantine Catholic dioceses at Mukačevo and Prešov. Although in the 1920s a group of these Ruthenian Catholics returned to the Orthodox Church [see Orthodox Church in the Czech and Slovak Republics], Rusyn ethnic identity remained closely tied to the Ruthenian Catholic Church. 
At the end of World War II, Transcarpathia, including Užhorod and Mukačevo, was annexed to the Soviet Union as part of the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic. Prešov, however, remained in Czechoslovakia [see Slovak Catholic Church]. The Soviet authorities soon initiated a vicious persecution of the Ruthenian Church in the newly acquired region. In 1946 the Užhorod seminary was closed, and in 1947 Bishop Theodore Romža of Mukačevo was poisoned by the communist authorities. In 1949 the Ruthenian Catholic Church was officially integrated into the Russian Orthodox Church. Rusyns on the other side of the Czechoslovak border were also forced to become Orthodox, while those in the Polish Lemko region were deported en masse in 1947 either to the Soviet Union or other parts of Poland. In all three countries, an attempt was made to wipe out any residual Rusyn national identity by declaring them all to be Orthodox and Ukrainian.
The collapse of communism throughout the region had a dramatic effect on Ruthenian Catholics. The first changes took place in Poland in the mid-1980s, where Lemko organizations began to surface and press for recognition of their rights and distinct status. In Czechoslovakia, the much-diminished Rusyn minority began in November 1989 to press for recognition within the predominantly Slovak Greek Catholic diocese of Prešov. And finally, in the Transcarpathian heartland, on January 16, 1991, the Holy See confirmed a bishop and two auxiliaries that had been functioning underground for the Ruthenian Catholic eparchy of Mukačevo. By 2006 the eparchy had 370 parishes served by 217 priests. Soon after the end of communist rule, the diocese was able to establish the Theodore Romža Theological Academy in Užhorod for the formation of clergy and laity.
A continuing issue for Ruthenian Catholics has been their relationship with the much larger Ukrainian Greek Catholic Church. For the first time ever, the Mukačevo diocese finds itself functioning freely in the same country with the Ukrainian Catholic Church. Although it is not officially a part of the Ukrainian church and is still immediately subject to the Holy See, its bishops have attended recent Ukrainian Greek Catholic synods. The bishop of Mukačevo has made it clear, however, that he opposes integration into the Ukrainian Catholic Church and favors the promotion of the distinct ethnic and religious identity of his Rusyn people. This identity received a boost in March 2007 when the Transcarpathian Oblast Council voted to recognize the Rusyn people as an indigenous nationality of the region. As a result, the local government will be required to provide funding to promote Rusyn language, culture, and education. 
In 1996 Pope John Paul II established an Apostolic Exarchate for Catholics of the Byzantine rite in the Czech Republic and appointed Fr. Ivan Ljavinec, until then the syncellus of the Prešov Slovak Catholic diocese, as its first bishop. One reason for the establishment of this jurisdiction – which was officially classified as belonging to the Ruthenian rite – was to regularize the situation of married Latin priests secretly ordained in Czechoslovakia under communist rule. Sixty of these priests had been accepted by the church but had been allowed to minister only as permanent deacons in the Latin rite because of their marriages. In 1997, 18 of these men were re-ordained Greek Catholic priests by Bishop Ljavinec. There are about 178,000 Greek Catholics in the Czech Republic.
Many Ruthenian Catholics immigrated to North America in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Because of strained relations with the Latin hierarchy and the imposition of clerical celibacy on the Eastern Catholic clergy in the United States in 1929, large numbers of these Catholics returned to the Orthodox Church. In 1982 it was estimated that out of 690,000 people of Rusyn descent in the United States, 225,000 were still Ruthenian Catholics, 95,000 belonged to the Carpatho-Russian Orthodox diocese, 250,000 were in the Orthodox Church in America, 20,000 were in Orthodox parishes directly under the Moscow Patriarchate, and 100,000 belonged to various other Orthodox, Ukrainian Catholic, Roman Catholic, and Protestant denominations.
In the United States today, the Ruthenians constitute a separate ecclesiastical structure with four dioceses, 222 parishes, 231 priests, 50 permanent deacons, and about 100,000 faithful. The office of Metropolitan Archbishop of Pittsburgh has been vacant since the death of Most Reverend Basil Schott, OFM, in June 2010 (66 Riverview Avenue, Pittsburg, PA 15214). This church, generally known simply as Byzantine Catholic, emphasizes its American character, and celebrates liturgy in English in most parishes. Candidates for the priesthood are trained at Sts. Cyril and Methodius Seminary in Pittsburgh. In 1999 the Vatican approved a new particular law for the Ruthenian Metropolitanate which allowed for the ordination to the priesthood of married men who had received a proper dispensation from the Holy See.
In other areas of the diaspora, including Australia, Great Britain, and Canada, Ruthenian Catholics are not distinguished from Ukrainian Catholics.
In sum, today there are three distinct Ruthenian Catholic jurisdictions: (1) the Ruthenian Byzantine Catholic Metropolitanate in the United States, a metropolitan church sui iuris, (2) the eparchy of Mukačevo in Ukraine, which is immediately subject to the Holy See, and (3) the Apostolic Exarchate in the Czech Republic. The relationship between the three has not been clarified. The bishop of Mukačevo is listed below as head of the church, but he has no authority over the other two jurisdictions. The membership figure includes the combined statistics for all three entities.
Location: Ukraine, United States, Czech Republic
Head: Bishop Milan Šašík (Apostolic Administrator, born 1952, appointed 2002)
Title: Bishop of Mukačevo of the Byzantines
Residence: Užhorod, Ukraine
Membership: 598,000



The Desert Fathers Blog

I really like this blog which I only recently discovered.  I've been enthralled by the writings of the Desert Fathers books I have acquired recently.  Great, spiritual stuff. 
And I really like this blog because it's packed with informative stuff.
The Desert Fathers

Light a Candle

I really like sites like this for some reason.  I just think it's cool to be able to light a "virtual candle."
So take advantage of this and light some candles, saying a prayer as you go along.  Spend some time to stop and reflect on what you're praying about.
Let there be light!!!

Holy Nicholean Catholic Church

The Holy Nicholean Catholic Church

I think this is part of the "Reformed" Catholic or "Liberal" Catholic Church.
Mos def related to the Holy Imperial Russian Orthodox Church.

The Unknown Christ Blog

The Unknown Christ
I like this one, mostly for the beautiful paintings & poems.  Catholic, Coptic, & Orthodox.  But I do believe this is a Gnostic site.  I could be wrong.  I need to investigate it more.

Vestiges of Christianity

Vestiges of Christianity

Gnostic Society

The Gnostic Society Library

I like this site because of the Christian New Testament Apocryphal books that they have on here.  I'm fascinated by the apocrypha!  I've read nearly every book in the Ann Arbor & Ypsi public libraries.


Hundreds & Hundreds of Books...... read!!!  I'm backed up about 225 books right now!  YIKES!!!  I've also got about three hundred fanzines that need to be re-read.  I have to periodically look through my library to be reminded of what I own.  I used to do that with my music collection since I would, on many occasions, buy a 7" or CD that I already owned!  Every time I went to a hardcore fest I would come home with 25 - 100 new 7"'s, LP's, & CD's.  Not to mention a couple of dozen demo tapes.  Man I loved those demo's!  Still do.  My favorite part of MRR (Maximum Rock n Roll fanzine for you non-punks) has always been the demo's review section and the fanzine review section.  I don't even know how many times I would get the new issue (usually at Borders...ugggghhh, that's a whole other blog post --to come sometime soon) and read it with a pen in my hand to mark the thing that I wanted to order.  You can't get much more D.I.Y. than sending off $3 to some kid for his bands crappy (most of the times) demo cassette.  Or a couple of bux for the first and only issue of a new 'zine.  But actually many times the demo's would turn out to be awesome and some of the bands best work.  And to me it was always worth it for just a few dollars.  Getting a letter and small package in the mail from Singapore or as all hell!  A hand-written note on the back of a punk show flyer, thanking me for buying his band's demo!  Or being one of the lucky fifty people to get the first issue or the last issue of some fanzine.  I vividly remember getting the newest issue of "In Abandon" fanzine done by that kid Mike in south Florida...Tampa to be exact.  It turned out to be his last also.  I went to my p.o. box in downtown Ann Arbor at around 9:30a.m. one sunny late summer/early fall day.  Those perfect sunny-but-not-humid days we experience mid September here in Michigan!  I grabbed a nice, fat stack of mail and drove over to the small park near St. Francis church & school. Sat in the freshly mowed grass and opened a manilla envelope from Mikey in Tampa. I was blown away at the outstanding printing job he or someone else did with the 'zine!  The blacks were ultra dark and super crisp, all the lines were sharp, and the drawings were vivid.  It was printed on a heavier bright white paper.  Lots and lots of block lettering and weird/cool drawings and doodles.  An awesome story about going on tour with his favorite band, who just happen to be comprised of his best friends!  All kinds of anecdotes that punk kids experience being 20 years old and touring the United States in a punked-up van full of sweaty, stinky d00ds and band equipment.  Mike meets and befriends all kinds of interesting people up & down the east coast of our country.  He repeatedly talks about the "revolution at 3 a.m." jolted up on coffee and wide eyed & in love with life!  Such a great 'zine!  I never got to meet Mike though I did write him a few times.  A bit later I saw that hed done a bunch of artwork for the REVERSAL OF MAN records who he was good friends with.  And I saw something he did for the band BRIGHT CALM BLUE.   I recently pulled out that very issue of In Abandon and re-read parts of it.  I also wound up buying the two previous issues of that 'zine.  Twelve years later those fanzines are still great!


Lots & Lots of stuff...

...but most notably the fact that my computer hard drive crashed and I lost over 250 GB's of music, photos, videos, documents, resume, bookmarks, etc.  I am completely devastated.  I can't even begin to express my grief.  I'm mos def not over-reacting, those who know me know that my music is one of the most important things in the world to me.  I lost files that I will NEVER, EVER get back or be able to find again.  There were so many obscure, underground, hard to find, out of press, never-released-on-CD recordings that I'm so overwhelmed as to where to start collecting it again.  The hard drive (which is now in a box on the table next to me) stands a better chance of fixing itself, than I do of even finding HALF of all that music again.
 What would YOU do?  What should I do?
 In 2009 my entire CD collection (over 900 CD's) was stolen and never recovered.  At that time ALL of my photos, clothing, Doc Martens, books, 'zines, furniture, etc was also stolen & thrown out.  I'm STILL not over that, especially when I know who did it and the police won't follow through with the charges I filed.  Well, what can you expect from a bunch of monkeys.  Police are, by nature, slow, lazy, and inept.   Essentially worthless but it seemed the only recourse I had at that time.
I've gotta figure something out.  Man, sooooooo many of my lost files were vinyl-only 7"s & LP's with all the art-work & lyrics scanned in with them.  I spent countless hours up all night at the computer organizing and cleaning all my folder.  I have about 4 GB's saved at, about 7 GB's on my ipod, and 12 GB's burned onto two DVD's.  If ONLY I had burned more shizzit to DVD.....if only.


Nothing Left To Grasp s/t 7"

WOW!  What a great record!!!  From Germany and released in 1996.  Completely "90's emocore sounding band.  At times they sound like FRAIL or STILL LIFE.  For some reason I don't ever remember hearing of this band.  I could've easily seen their 7"s in a distro box at any number of hardcore shows in the late 90's.  And back then I was buying just about every single record in every single distro box.  Yeah, this is some great hardcorepunk.  Just found a split they did with KASSIOPEIA and their demo.  Here's a link to a blog called Make Friends With Time (couldn't agree more!) where there's a post about this band with a link to download what looks like their entire discography from mediafire: Make Friends With Time  As usual, there's nothing like finding or discovering new bands you never heard!  Especially when they kick ass! 
  OK, more resumes to send off....more on-line applications to fill out.  I even filled out apps at Wendy's & Tim Horton's when I was there yesterday.  They probably won't hire someone with a checkered past, but I'll give it a shot.

Eastern Orthodox Christianity & Chumpire Fanzine....

...I've been on a big Orthodox Christian kick lately.  I've always been amazed and mystified by this branch of Christianity, so this isn't anything particularly new.  But after I made contact with the zinesters who did/do "Death to the World" fanzine (which is all abut Orthodox, kinda from a punk rock slant), and started emailing around for more info, my interest & curiosity got even stronger.  I think I may have written about this before.  Sometimes I get confused about whether I wrote something on here, in my paper blog (aka journal), as a post on facebook or in a conversation with Cheryl or someone else.  I'm becoming a ditz....brain farts and "slow" moments.   Ahhhh, it's just growing old I guess.  This Orthodoxy thing is a trip though.  Somehow in the back of my head I'm wondering what it would be like to join the Orthodox church.  I've been watching this sweet DVD the monks at Holy Cross Monastery in WV sent me.  It's a mini-doc they made by themselves on day to day life at the monastery, work, eat, prayer schedule.  What it's like living together. etc.  I must have watched it at least two dozen times since I got it last week.  They also were kind enough to send me a small booklet all about Akathist, The Inexhaustible Cup.  A devotion to Theotokos, the mother of God, the Virgin Mary.  This devotion is said to be beneficial for addicts and alcoholics, as the Akathist took away a peasant man's taste for booze permanently.   Plus, I got some beautiful new postcatd sized icons to hang on my walls.  I sent my friend Eric one today.  Eric's in the joint doing a year, minimum.  He just got there a month ago, according to the internerd.  I sent him a small package of things I know are allowed to be sent in: religious postcars, pictures, icon's, papers, etc.
  So yeah, Orthodox Christianity, "spreading the truth since 33 a.d.!"
  Several fanzines got read by yours truly this past week.   A few issues of Chumpire, and a nice little read called "Baby Tee's & Chain Wallets" from like 1998 I think.  Oh, Chumpire #160 was about eight pages long which I believe is one of the longest issues he ever made.  Usually they range from a 1/2 page to three pages, tops.  Issue #160 was all about a trip to Argentina.  It's very well written and actually interesting.    ,,,,,,,More later


Nick Cave, Nick Drake, Nick Lowe...

nick cave nick drake nick lowe low things we lost in the fire firestorm storm cloud cloud that band on genet records record collection urine collection criminal record record player player hater hate the player hate the game game over game face face to face face tomorrow mouthpiece piece by piece rest in pieces pieces on the ground wait now turn around pick those pieces off the ground ground work work horse horse the band the band the band the band we're an american band bandit bandits what a ditz the clash clash of interests lack of interest spazz lack of interest split split up split lip for the love of the wounded wounded jnee knee jerk reaction in your living room operation ivy lyrics rancid lyrics rancid vat vatican punk punks on parade bulls on parade parade rest that band on moo cow records that did a split seven inch with i forgot who who dunnit the who whosover belies in him shall not perish but have everlasting life life's halt halt right there there goes my girl girl friend thank you for being my friend thank you for being alive i thank you for the times you told me i'd be all right and for the times we talked all night thank you for being my friend thank you for being alive alive alive i'm too dead to be alive feels like i;m looking through dead man's eyes dead eyes under put out a ten inch record on plus minus minus the bear got their name from the movie bj and the bear and they said minus the bear so that means bj i was in j block with a black thug wanna be small time dope pusher and peddler named bj which is almost like aj and i have an old friend named aj who is in state prison and has been for a while and probably wii be for a while longer ;ong time jerk she hits me where it hurts that long time jerk time and time again that fabulous record from capture the flag from ann arbor ypsi detroit southeast michigan they put out two albums on conquer the world like the bad religion song ctw records is ok by me despite what others say and time and time again is an awesome record.


Lots and Lots and Lots........

.....of stuff to write about.  I don't know where to begin sometimes.  Got a hold of one of the guys who did/does the fanzine "Death To The World," that awesome Orthodox Christian fanzine from the mid 90's.  The 'zine did 22 issues so day, and I have #'s 3-8.  It looks good, all black and white with pictures of icons, Orthodox saints, stories of saints and real cool events from the Orthodox tradition.  They've begun working on new issues and one of the guys is sending me a few back issues that I missed.
Read an old issue of "Stay Gold Jessie, Stay Gold" fanzine tonight.  Not much to it, about 40 pages, 1/4 size, with a few stories of trying to hop trains and some crudely drawn comics. This kid used to write tome and send me new coies of his 'zine whenever they came out.  Nice guy...
Paid off my library debts and borrowed a few books last week!  Excellent, because we have one of the most beautiful libraries in Ypsilanti, MI. with a plethora of religious / spiritual books.  I'm gonna be busy all summer! 
Currently reading or thinking about reading or read:

 "A New Reformation" by Matthew Fox
"Visions & Longings: Medieval Women Mystics" by Monica Furlong
"Great Christian Thinkers" by Hans Kung
"Mary: A Catholic / Evangelical Debate" by D. Longnecker & D. Gustafson
"The Collar" by Jonathan Englert
"Jesus in Egypt: Discovering the Secrets of Christ's Childhood Years" by Paul Perry
"Galileo Goes to Jail" by Ron Numbers
"Selecting the Pope: Uncovering the Mysteries of Papal Elections" by Greg Tobin
"The Conclave" by M. Walsh
"The Cloud of Unknowing" by anonymous (I finally got a copy of this!  I've been looking for two years and didn't even know it was readily available!)
"Is the Bible Intolerant? Sexist? Oppressive? Homophobic? etc" by Amy Orr-Ewing
"The Mountain of Silence: A Search for Orthodox Spirituality" by Kyriacos Markides  (I've been on a big Orthodoxy kick or quest lately. Started a couple years ago. Then I read a great little book called "The Orthodox Church" by who I can't remember. Then finding all the old copies of "Death To The World" fanzine from 1996 and making contact with that zinester. And a few more things that have kinda' popped up into my life.  God's telling me something and fortunately I'm sober enough to listen!)
"The Inner Journey: Views from the Christian Tradition" by L. Kisly
"Cracking the DaVinci Code" by Simon Cox
"Beyond Illusion & Doubt" by A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada
"The Art of Happiness" by The Dalai Lama
"Dalai Lama: Man, Mystic, Monk, an Authorized Biography" by Mayank Chhaya
"The Dream World of H.P. Lovecraft" by Donald Tyson
"Secret Societies & the Hermetic Code" by Ernesto (cool name!) Frers

.......................and there's some fanzines I want to mention: "Between Hope & Hopelessness" a little 1/4 sized zine, "That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore" another little (in size) zine and only a few pages long. Issue #1 is eight pages, and #2 is sixteen pages.  Total SMITHS & Morrissey worship.  Pictures of them on every page with mini rants about hardcore, heartbreak, and head trips.  This is the epitome of the mid 90's "emo-zine' or "per zine."  Stories all about the author being a "23 year old trapped in constant confusion" and wanting someone to love. Cut & paste, b & w and it looks simple but good. The guy probably made 50 copies of this thing to pass out at hardcore shows in 1994 and certainly no ones cares about this sixteen years later. Except me.  "Chumpire," which I may have mentioned before, and a one-off thingy called "Race Traitor."  

 There are many more books I've read and/or acquired in the past few months that I will write about soon.  Plus, I've got several journal entries that need to go up here soon, as well as some rants and raves that I've been writing in my journals.  Story ideas, pictures of some collaging I've done recently, and some black pen & ink drawings my brother and I have been working on.  Oh, that reminds me...I found a scanner/copier/fax/printer all in one machine in the garbage of my communal laundry room.  Sadly, it's not working when it get's hooked up because there's no ink cartridge in it.  Like, it won't even let me scan stuff into the computer or respond to any commands.  We think since there's not even an empty ink cartridge in the machine that it just won't do anything.  I'm gonna email HP and see if they can tell me how to get it working. ...............More tomorrow.


Ghoul's Night Out & God's Grace

This is the ghoul's night out
Suffer unto me
Devils born in angels' arms
Ghouls in heaven's fall
This is the ghoul's night out
All ghouls go to hell
Humans held on eating flesh
It's my destiny
 Hell is where you want to be
I feel the hell on you and me
I feel it every day
Hell is where you want to be
I feel the hell on you and me
It never goes away
Ghouls, ghouls, ghouls night out, destiny.
 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
 //Had a good night tonight!  Saw Cheryl and went to an "open talk" style AA mtg and listened to a kid-with-his-shit-together give a brief synopsis of how his life used to suck and how great God is in his life. Prayed vocally with a large group of friends, acquaintances, & strangers.  Wandered around a Meijer Superstore just like we did back in high school, sans the LSD.  Watched an episode of "House" and wondered how the hell this guy has and friends at all and is employed!  Cheryl & I agreed that his character is a douche bag, namely the way he treats everyone around him.  Yeah, this isn't a revelation or anything ground breaking to anyone who watches this show (which I did religiously, until I got religion) but just an observation that bears repeating.  "House" was or is insanely popular, and I do love the way they portray his addiction, as someone who has lived through that. It's accurate, though not realistic.  Which is my point, this dude would've been fired a long time ago, had his medical license yanked, lost all of his friends, and turned to giving head for heroin.  THEN, he'd make it into recovery from addiction, make some new friends, get his medical license back & get a job.  THAT would be more realistic.  Maybe I'll write more about this show another time.  It's worth it.  Speaking of things spiraling out of control.....later on in the evening I ran into a person I used to work with who has relapsed back in to her addiction. She was very drunk. She's got a new hair style and and breast implants, so I guess it's OK to get piss drunk now.  Oh well, all I can really do is pray for her and keep her in my thoughts!  "But for the grace of God go I..."//


RVIVR & St. Joseph

,,,this damn band is so damn good!  I can't really pin point why I like them so much.  I haven't even seen them play, though they would be awesome, I'm sure, at a punk house in a hot, sweaty, humid basement with a low ceiling and a furnace obstructing your view.  Just the way I like to experience bands play.  But yeah, RVIVR are melodic, emotional, passionate hardcore.  Male & female vocals, mid paced hardcore with feedback sometimes.  Kinda pop-punkish at times with sugary vocals ala STRIKE ANYWHERE or INQUISITION (well of course those last two bands have the same singer, Tomas.)  So RVIVR has the excellent 7" "Derailer" out, the 7" "Life Moves", and the s-t LP.  Also, they just released the new 7" "Dirt Water."  This hasn't grown on me yet but I'm sure it will.
 OK, I'm outta here.....gonna' try and figure out this crazy dream I had last nigh, where I was going through the legal system being investigated for a murder that I DID commit a few tears earlier.  I mean I did in my dream, not in real life.  I woke up from this dream like five or six times, each time falling asleep and picking up right where the dream had left off.
Cheryl & I are going to the open-speaker AA meeting here in Ypsi at St. Joes hospital.  St. Joseph is my favorite saint, so I have no doubt he will be looking over us tonight.  He has in the past, so I'll be sure to ask him later when I spend some quiet time with the Lord.


Some Food for Thought...

Marc from Bad Catholic blog sent me this link.  I (like millions of other human beings, I hope) have been struggling with how to digest the news of Bin Laden's execution.  How exactly should I feel about this?  Well OK, feelings really aren't good or bad.  They're individually ours and they just "are."  But as a Catholic Christian, how should I process this news?  And, should I think any more differently than my Buddhist girlfriend does?
  Sauteed ginger-tofu, cilantro lime redskins, and steamed green beans, a.k.a. food for thought

And here's what my girlfriend, Cheryl had to say....

  "I don't know how people like MLK, Mother Theresa, Ghandi, HH the Dali Lama, Pope John Paul II, etc., do it.   I'm not sure how to love *everyone* that unconditionally.   I don't hate anyone, and I do forgive.  I think we should forgive, we have to.       But just because we forgive doesn't mean we forget.   Dancing in the streets to celebrate OBL death makes us no better than those who danced in the street to celebrate the deaths of thousands of Americans on 9/11, and as an American I'd like to think that we ARE better than those who celebrated the deaths on 9/11.
Do I think the world will be a brighter place now that OBL is gone?   Hardly.   We did what we had to do.   I believe that sometimes death is necessary.  This had to happen.  We could not let him live.      The only thing you'll see me rejoicing in is the fact that it was Obama who got the job done!!! 4 more years, baby!"

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

-- Martin Luther King, Jr

Some Fanzines...

Read some semi - crappy fanzines last night.  "Mishap" issue #11....This 'zine is sometimes called "Mayhap" or "Mayham," done by a guy in Portland, OR.  Don't know why he kept changing the name around.  This is a 1/2 size deal laid out with a typewriter, x-acto knife, and sharpie pen.  Lots of thoughts about anarchy, the "ten signs of being normal" (???), some hitchhiking stories, and something unique to this 'zine --ongoing science-fiction / fantasy / horror stories written by the author.  All nicely done.  Even the non-fiction pieces on anarchy are intelligently written.  Some letters from readers, and the low-down on the annual Anarchist Conference in Portland, plus anti-cop rants (surprise surprise).  All in all a pretty heady read full of well thought out arguments.  I have about seven or eight issues, since this kid used to send me several issues at one time and he was pretty prolific back in 1998-2004 or so.
"Moshi Moshi" which I think she said means "thank you" in Japanese, but I'm too lazy to walk three feet to look through the 'zine and verify this.  I'm also too lazy right now to open anew tab on my browser, where this and every other PIECE OF INFORMATION IN THE ENTIRE WORLD is at my fingertips.  God bless the internerd.  Haha, I'm listening to NOFX "Ribbed," right now!  Forgot what a great album this is!  Seriously haven't played this in at least eight or nine years.  I still remember all the lyrics, especially to "New Boobs!"  I remember when these guys ruled (in my mind.)  I also remember them opening for BAD RELIGION in 1990 (?) when they both played in the gymnasium at Oakland Community College.  No stage, all the bands played on the floor.  Mostly I remember the Toledo straightedge skinheads were there and now I'm wondering if MAJORITY OF ONE (from Toledo) also played.  That woulda' been around the time M.O.O. were big.  Well, big in the sense that kids from Toledo would actually drive 90 minutes to see them open for a touring punk band.  And this was also the time that there were actual straightedge skins in the scene.  Hmmmm...OK..."Moshi Moshi"...a cute little 1/4 size 'zine done by a chick named Lauren who also did "Pussy Cat Vision" fanzine.  This looks similar in layout to PCV.  Lauren says that many of her views and morals have changed and thus it was time for a new fanzine to replace the old.  She's sixteen, from Baltimore and loves hardcore.  A funny-ass rant about how her mom who is 48 has a bff who is a 17 year old dude!  Haha, everyone thinks this guy's sleeping with her mom, but mom insists that while she does love her bff, it's strictly platonic.  Lots of cute background pics and line sketches.  Everything smells of emo.  Super sensitive writings et al.  And almost as an aside she mentions that she just started making herself throw-up to lose weight.  WTF!?!  She devotes less than a page of this 'zine to this all kinds of fucked up disorder!  She then says she has stopped doing this...kinda'.  But, "food is calling my name."  Sad.  This little 'zine was done in 1994.  Lauren is about 33 now.  I wonder if she still loves hardcore and still pukes.  And sticking with the 1/4 size cute 'zines, I read issue #126 of "Chumpire" done by a dude named Greg.  This is a spit issue with "Raw Pogo On Scafold" #14.5.  Chumpire has been around for a long time and Greg's done many many issues, or at least he had by 1999, when this came out.  I remember this issue came with an awesome CD of mostly Japanese psychedelic music.  I loved that CD and listened to it all the time but it got stolen along with my other 899 CD's!!!  I'd put that CD in my discman, and then follow it up with that one weird CD from BIDDY'S LOVE MONKEY, a local band who I knew very little about except there was some weird psych instrumental mixed into an album of chugga-chugga mosh core.  I'm serious!  Anyhow I'm gonna' email Greg Chumpire right now to see if I can get some newer copies of the 'zine as well as that old CD comp.  I think he also included a compilation record especially made for a different issue of Chumpire, if I remember correctly.  This issue he includes a cool ABC of PA, name dropping bands, zines, record stores, etc from his home state. Cool.  The Raw Pogo...half is mostly reviews of Japanese music that I've never heard of.  Boring.
 I read a couple more things that I'll talk about tomorrow....."Liza & Louise" is a great song, even if NOFX suck these days.
  See you in the pit! 


Debbie Harry 1977 & The Great Heist Of 2009

   Debbie Harry - Blondie, Coney Island, NY, 1977 | Bob Gruen

  This is a fantastic picture!!!   I wish I was a bit older and a bit more active (to say the least) during this era of punk-rock (or just rock -n- roll, depending on who you ask).   BLONDIE, THE RAMONES, TELEVISION, TALKING HEADS, RICHARD HELL, DEAD other words, that whole original CBGB's scene.   Honestly, I'm not know nor have I ever been, a huge RAMONES fan.  I don't even own any of their albums  (though I did have that one with the song "Somebody Put Something In My Drink."  My momma gave it to me for Christmas in like, 1985 or '86.  Decent enough record and great song!), but I did download their discography last year --it accidentally got deleted from my computer.

   Which reminds me.....this is something I constantly worry & fret about:  having all of my music get deleted from my computer or my external hard drive.  I know no one who is in contact with this stuff would purposely do it, but hell, accidents happen and 30 GB'd of stuff WAS accidentally erased a little while ago.   And ever since my CD & DVD collection got ripped off it's been something that I have more and more anxiety over.  Thank God that my hard drive wasn't in that apartment when I left and everything got picked through, stolen, sold, and thrown out.  This here external h.d. is all I've got left.  The few dozen pictures stored on it and the 175 GB's of music are what's left of my life.   Nine hundred CDs, CD - R's, DVD's, boxes and boxes of photos (including the negatives), clothes (a dozen beautiful Fred Perry & Ben Sherman shirts included!), my NEARLY BRAND NEW Doc Martens, poster, flyers, expensive down blankets, books, magazines, and fanzines -----GONE!!!    The feelings of hatred, anger, and betrayal are things I've had to deal with over the last two years.   I've learned to let go of all the negative thoughts associated with that incident and more or less move on.  Of course I filed a police report and of curse those bitches didn't do anything.  I don't know what I was thinking when I marched in to see the 5-O and try to ally myself with those dirty crooks.  I guess I was following advice from friends and I guess this is how normal people solve similar problems.   It did me no good.  Even when I gave them names & contact info of the person (s) who did it.   Lesson learned  --never trust the cops to solve your problems.


"As Far As My Feet Will Carry Me" & "Lovers Quarrel"

//Just got finished reading "As Far As My Feet..."  by Josef M. Bauer.  WOW!  What a fantastic book this is!  I was stuck to every page and didn't want to put it down --not even to get to sleep!  that's really the test of a book's quality, can you fight off sleep in order to push forward with reading?  Anyhow, this is the story of a German guy who gets sentenced to 25 years of hard labor in a Siberian prison work-camp.  He spends a couple years there before finally escaping for good (he has a half-hearted escape attempt, but is quickly recaptured).  The book chronicles his three year and two month journey walking back to Germany!  Holy crap, walking?  Yes, most of his travels are made walking.  But this book has loads of train hopping tales, as well as hitch hiking, being a stowaway, sledding, etc. The escapee, Forell apparently told his story to the author, who turned it into this book.  Pretty sweet how Forell learns how to hunt, cook, impersonate people, bullshit, and more!  It's like a great adventure novel crossed with a punk-rock travel 'zine!  For real!  So find this book 'cuz I guarantee you'll be enthralled with it!
//I also read issue #2 of "Lover's Quarrel" written by a kid named Ravi from Princeton, NJ in 1994.  This kid is in love with hardcore, veganism, and straightedge.  Lots of cute emo-ness in the form of sketches and pictures, as well as some sappy writings.  I guess this dude was involved in running that organization, Earthwell out of NJ in the 90's.  They put on fundraiser shows, benefits for causes like "Food Not Bombs", sexual assault awareness literature, animal rights, fanzines, and I believe they put out a few records.  A worthy cause in the hardcore scene of the time.  This issues got at least three ads for 'zines done from folks in Princeton, NJ, Ravi's town.  Which just goes to show how many people actually did fanzines as well as playing in bands, booking shows, etc.


 //Listening to this M.I.A. album, "After The Fact," pretty damn good and something I've overlooked considering it came out in the mid 1980's!!!  Posting this now to remind myself to write more about them later.  Am I the only one who uses the internerd to write notes?  Online stickys!

Thre's No "I" In Team But There Is a "me"

Also, there is no "u" in Colombia.  Even when you change it to Colombian.   I've seen it in magazines, on advertisements, on labels in grocery stores, everywhere you could use the word Colombia, I've seen it as Columbian.  And no, I don't mean like Columbus or pre-Columbian.  I mean like the kind of coffee, which is also a country i hear.


CAR vs. DRIVER...This band is fucking phenomenal!!!  I always knew they existed but never really paid much attention to them!  They fit in perfectly with so many of the other emotional hardcore bands of the early to mid 90's.  On some songs the singer sounds EXACTLY like the dude from MONSULA!   Anyhow last night I listened to "Under A Silent Sky" and was just completely mesmerized.
Lately my favorite state of being is just laying in bed reading (anything --old fanzines, catalogs, books, the new issue of MRR, and old issues of "Profane Existence"etc) and listening to old albums on my new mp3 player.  Just blown (or re-blown. Is that a word?) away by a few things, like that CAR VS DRIVER album.  I also listened to the GUILT "Synesthesia" record.   Remember, the10" from 1993 or so?  Put out on the late, great Initial Records from Louisville, just like the band.  GUILT was a side project from Duncan, one of the guitar players from ENDPOINT.  Before they were GUILT they were STEPDOWN.  The only recorded STEPDOWN music I have is the song "Giving Tree" from the "Voice Of The Voiceless" animal rights compilation.  Remember that record?  I think Doghouse Records put it out with the help of one or two other labels.  Awesome comp!  Anyhow that STEPDOWN song is great.  Doesn't really sound much like GUILT at all.
OK, so I kinda' found part two of the CAR vs DRIVER discography CD on a mediafire link, but I've yet to find part one.  My hard drive is sooooooo full, I'm having a hard time NOT downloading everything I find lately.  That's why I'm accepting donations for the new 2TB external hard drive on sale over at  Help!!!
"Let The Day Begin" by SAMHAIN is such a great song!!!  From the awesome "November Coming Fire" album! It just popped up on my winamp player set to random.  I qued up this bootleg SAMHAIN record that I downloaded a few weeks ago with that song, and I'm disappointed to find out that it's just the regular studio version.  Oh well, I'll delete it since I don't have the hd space anyhow.  Oh, that reminds me --I opened an account with an online storage service,  Is this trustworthy?  They give you 50GB's of free storage but I'm a little hesitant to start loading it up if my files could disappear at any time or be held hostage by them trying to get me to upgrade to a premium membership.  I've put a few gig's of stuff on there so far.  I could open a few more accounts, all you need is a different email addy to do that.  I guess theoretically I could open several accounts and store all my stuff on there.  Also, I would be able to access my files from anywhere.  One major drawback, besides not knowing if they're trustworthy, is that it takes sooooooo long to upload stuff to my account!!!  About 1/2 an hour for 1GB!!!!   I don't have the patience to babysit files being uploaded no the trust to do it when I'm not actively using the computer.
So far tonight's been a good on musically: MONSULA (awesome rough pop-punk ala CRIMPSHRINE on Lookout Records), THE ALLIGATORS (Roger Miret with straightedge band INSTED), CALIBAN, (German vegan-edge-metal), THE CARRIER (sounds a LOT like MODERN LIFE IS WAR --and that's a GOOD thing!), COLEMAN (excellent emo), ELEMENTS OF NEED (great 90's emo), SAMIAM (man, these songs from the album "Astray" are rocking my world! This album, and "You Are Freaking Me Out" are two of the most unlistened to albums from SAMIAM in my collection. big mistake!), ROT IN HELL (sounds like RINGWORM but they're from the UK), THE ERGS! (so mad that I've slept on these guys for so long! Not anymore, I'm all up in these bitches!) and so much more!  I'm outta here!   See ya'll tomorrow!  Yeah, tomorrow....a good day!  See my girlfriend, hit up the book shelves at the Salvation Army thrift shop, maybe hit an AA mtg...just not in that order.

Recovering Zinesters, Hardcore Kids, Punks, Skins, Mods, Skaters, etc...

Cindy, who does the great "Doris" fanzine, just put out a 'zine, all about and constructed by, recovering alcoholics / addicts.  I scanned the review in the new issue of MRR.  I'm gonna head over to and check if they've got it.  It looks interesting and I've always enjoyed Cindy's writing.  I'm always down to hear what other hardcore kids & punk rockers have to say about addiction, AA / NA, God, higher power, recovery, rehab centers, detox's, etc.  I'll mos def review it here when I get my hands on a copy.
  Oh yeah, she also sings in ASTRID OTO:


CURRENT (Detroit Hardcore Emo Band)

This band was so so so awesome.  I didn't get into them until the tail end of their life-span.  I'd always seen their flyers, since they opened so many damn hardcore shows in southeast Michigan.  Headlined plenty of smaller shows also.  I may have even accidentally bought a 7" of theirs.  Wait, I think I had the "Coliseum" album they did, without listening to it for about two years.  I probably bought it because they were local and I tried to aggressively support the local hardcore scene as much as possible.  I think everyone did that, unlike nowadays when folks only come out to see a bigger touring band.  Hey, I'm one of them too!!!  Oh snap!!!
OK, the singer of CURRENT, Matt Weeks, also owned and ran Council Records --one of the best record labels of the '90's!  A bit later he played in OTTAWA, NEMA, DEARBORN SS, and the highly underrated and slept on, CALVARY.  Not too sure what he's up to currently but I'm sure I'll find out soon.  Maybe e-stalk him for a minute, then flip the script and report back here.  Keep your eyes open....   All jokes aside he's someone I would seriously love to interview for this blog and the 'zine I've been trying to poop out since time immemorial!

EMO...A Four Letter Word, Or A Great Hardcore Sub - Genre???





Pope John Paul II & The Hare Krsna's...

....May 1st.  I wish I had $2300 for the trip to Rome some peeps are going on.  Sigh.....  The beatification of Blessed Pope John Paul II.  I can watch it on the internerd or the TV.  It's just neat to have something like this happen in my lifetime.  I vividly remember when he died and pretending to be so indifferent, with a twisted touch of stoicism!!!  I had fallen away from Catholicism at that time, although I would proudly tell you I was "spiritual!"  Whatever that means / meant!!!  I love this st00pid AA line, "religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell and spirituality is for people who've already been there and DON'T want to go back.  Dumb alcoholics think they've got the market cornered on spirituality.  Yes, thank God for AA's spirituality, opening the door, and my mind, to a higher power, a higher being, a higher purpose, and a higher calling.  But that's just a start.  I needed to nurture and grow my spirituality.   Which... is... just.....religion......gasp!!!  Besides, AA was founded by two Christian men, contains and co-op's several Christian (Catholic) prayers such as "The Lord's Prayer," "The Serenity Prayer," and "Instrument of Peace"  (the St. Francis prayer) on page 99 of the "Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions," an AA approved (official) book.   Most of the AA old-timers I know also belong to a church or claim some religious affiliation.  My friend Matt (a Jew I'm told) got very involved in Islam shortly after getting sober in 1999 or so, changed his name to Idris, wore traditional (as traditional as an Ann Arbor Jewish punk rock kid can get) Islamic garb to meetings, and moved to Saudi Arabia to teach English.  And secure a wife.  My friend Tarun Krsna-das, whom I met at the Fischer Mansion (a.k.a. the Hare Krsna temple) in Gross Point one soul searching Sunday, got clean, joined Narcotics Anonymous and then joined the Hare Krsna's.  He helped me a ton --came out to Ann Arbor to check out some AA meetings with me, kick the soccer ball around, chant Hare Krsna, and discuss Prabhupada's writings.  Tarun helped me to be a little less materialistic, as well as showing me how to eat vegetarian food without any traces of garlic, onions, and mushrooms.  Three foods in the mode of passion or ignorance, I can't remember which.  I miss Tarun.  After he went on a pilgrimage to Vrindavan I never saw him again.  St00pid hotmail deleted a couple hundred messages of mine, including one with his email addy in it.  And since Tarun Krsna-das is not the real name of a white trash, I.C.P. listening, workin' on car in the front lawn of your house, guy from Taylor, I've not been able to locate him since late 1999.

SEAN ÄABERG's photostream

I don't know too much about this guy (Sean Aaberg), but I Googled his name after unpacking one of the fanzines he did in the late 90's / early '00's. He is a kick ass artist and here are some pictures from his website. I'm writing this edit/update on Jan. 7, 2013, after making this post originally in early 2011. I believe this is all still online and still relevant. Enjoy!!! ♥♥♥

Ahhhh, the dude who did "Binocular Rebellious" fanzine! Cool pics, cool artwork!