// Addiction Sucks //

I hate it. I'm sick of it. I know too much about it. I give up. I admit defeat. I'm done.

what can i do?  who can i trust?

who do i turn to?
am i alone?
where is God?
why won't He help me?
where is the Theotokos?
why won't she help me?
i cry to my mother.
i cry to the Most Holy Theotokos.
The bridge to Jesus.
in the Bible she is known as "the Mother of my Lord"
by elizabeth, her sister.
elizabeth is the mother of john the baptist, Jesus's cousin.
he baptized Jesus, yet felt unworthy of it.
i wish john the baptist would baptize me.
we are only supposed to get baptized once in the Catholic Christian
church.  in the Orthodox Christian Church we can get baptized
again. i really don't know too much about it, however .
maybe i need another baptism. who knows?
God knows though. He is the one who can remove this
addiction. Him & only Him. 
"There IS a solution!"  yes, there is.
love. love prevails all.
"always use love."  
always use love


Father Symeon's Journal // Eastern Orthodox Christian Content ♥♥♥

This is an excellent blog to check out, though it hasn't been updated since August 2013.  Well worth your time, however.

Orthodox Christian Medicine   "The healing of soul and body through the ancient Orthodox Christian Way of Life."


" Ancient Discoveries: Mega Structures Of The Deep "

Hello to all my friends on this fine Thurs afternoon! Feeling good today, feeling alive, feeling loved, and feeling useful! I still miss my lovely Vit. C a ton!!! I want to give up on her most days, but for some reason I keep trudging along! I think she's gonna come around at any moment. I don't want to give up only to find out that things were on the verge of changing! I want to be the one she kisses on New Years eve, from 2012 - 2013! Who knows if this will happen or not. I already have several offers for NY eve. Not sure what I will end up doing. Probably hanging out with my friend and watching a movie or two. I do think 2013 will be better than 2012! Though I have to say, this hasn't really been a bad year for me at all. They all kind of blend together. Viva la life! ♥♥♥

" Hyperborea, The Pineal Gland, and The Spear of Destiny " (interesting YouTube video!)

This is quite interesting. Touches on many of the topics I am deeply interested in. Though it's a bit much. Kind of overwhelming in it's scope. Enjoy! ♥♥♥


" So You Don't Believe " (YouTube video!)

Another interesting video appearing on YouTube! WOW! Thank God & the gods for all of this awesome, FREE information available on the interwebz! What did we do in the days before the internet? Well, I guess we went to the library & to book stores, made phone calls, and sat around with friends about random topics & esoteric spirituality. These videos, along with my hundreds & hundreds of books, are a welcome distraction from my broken heart & my broken soul! I love you God!!! ♥♥♥

" Carmelites: People in search of God: From the Desert to the Garden of "

I love the Carmelite brothers & sisters! They are a fantastic monastic order within the Catholic Church. I want to learn more about them as a whole. I have a few snail mail pen pals whom I write to that belong to the order of Carmelites. They sent me a large box of books two years ago. Such wonderfully generous people. If I could do my life all over again, I would join a monastery and give my life to God, instead of squandering it away on drugs, booze, and loose women. BUT, thank God for second & third chances. I am sober today by God's grace & mercy. I love you Lord!!!

LIFE'S HALT "Make It Right"

LIFE'S HALT were a fantastic hardcorepunk band that was around in the late 90's / early 2000's. I was fortunate enough to see them four or five times. They were some of the nicest hardcore kids I've ever met! The singer's name is Ernesto, so we had an instant connection there! Their shows were super energetic & lively! Fun times for sure. R.I.P. LIFE'S HALT!!! ♥♥♥


"Hitler's War: What the Historians Neglect to Mention "

I have not watched this entire documentary yet. As with a lot of the video's I post on my blog, I link them up here on a post so that I can be sure to watch them later. Not an endorsement whatsoever! I will not ever *ENDORSE* Adolf Hitler and Nazism! The same way I will NEVER endorse Communism. In my (and many others) opinion, Communism was/is a hundred times worse than National Socialism. Communism has murdered more people than Hitler could EVER kill! Both are st00pid ideologies. But what makes me even sicker is that so many ppl swallow the lie, wholesale, that Hitler somehow killed 6 million helpless European Jews. That is a myth that needs to be shattered once and for all. This magical 6 million number has been with the Jewish people for hundreds & hundreds of years. Anyone who knows how to use Google can learn this! Simply do some Google searches for "6 million Jews dead World War one." Yes, WWI. You see, the Jews have been screaming that 6 million of their ppl were in danger of being holocausted since the time of WWI!!! And then there's even more to this magical story. I'll let you learn it on your own. Remember, always use love!!! ♥


Mutatis mutandis

"The necessary changes have been made."

Iran's Ahmadinejad on Holocaust™

I like this man. He is NOT my enemy. He is a very intelligent scholar and he has every right to lead his country how he sees fit. He is smart enough to know that the Palestinians did NOTHING to the Jews in the supposed holocaust™ on 1939 - 1945 in Europe. Dr. Ahmandinejad knows that 6 million Jews DID NOT DIE in the holocaust™. Like most forward thinking people, he knows that these numbers were lies and they were concocted long before WWII even STARTED!!! Any monkey can Google "6 million jews dead world war one" and get some interesting results. Loads of information, pre-WWII, hell even pre WWI, on the supposed "6 million Jews killed." This number and this word, "holocaust" was being thrown around quite liberally prior to the start of WWII. Some articles from as early as 1914!!! If you don't believe me, Google for yourself. Then ask a holocaust™ scholar for a picture of a "gas chamber" and they will not be able to produce one. There are no pictures of any gas chambers used in the holocaust™ because there were no gas chambers. There are some buildings that they claim were used as a gas chambers, but they have flimsy wooden doors, windows, and show no traces of any homicidal gas, known as Zyklon B, at all! Scientists did tests on the interior walls, floors, and ceilings of these "gas chambers" and there was not one tiny bit of residue--no Prussian Blue (Google it) to speak of. The more research you do into this story, the more it begins to fall apart.