Nothing Left To Grasp s/t 7"

WOW!  What a great record!!!  From Germany and released in 1996.  Completely "90's emocore sounding band.  At times they sound like FRAIL or STILL LIFE.  For some reason I don't ever remember hearing of this band.  I could've easily seen their 7"s in a distro box at any number of hardcore shows in the late 90's.  And back then I was buying just about every single record in every single distro box.  Yeah, this is some great hardcorepunk.  Just found a split they did with KASSIOPEIA and their demo.  Here's a link to a blog called Make Friends With Time (couldn't agree more!) where there's a post about this band with a link to download what looks like their entire discography from mediafire: Make Friends With Time  As usual, there's nothing like finding or discovering new bands you never heard!  Especially when they kick ass! 
  OK, more resumes to send off....more on-line applications to fill out.  I even filled out apps at Wendy's & Tim Horton's when I was there yesterday.  They probably won't hire someone with a checkered past, but I'll give it a shot.

Eastern Orthodox Christianity & Chumpire Fanzine....

...I've been on a big Orthodox Christian kick lately.  I've always been amazed and mystified by this branch of Christianity, so this isn't anything particularly new.  But after I made contact with the zinesters who did/do "Death to the World" fanzine (which is all abut Orthodox, kinda from a punk rock slant), and started emailing around for more info, my interest & curiosity got even stronger.  I think I may have written about this before.  Sometimes I get confused about whether I wrote something on here, in my paper blog (aka journal), as a post on facebook or in a conversation with Cheryl or someone else.  I'm becoming a ditz....brain farts and "slow" moments.   Ahhhh, it's just growing old I guess.  This Orthodoxy thing is a trip though.  Somehow in the back of my head I'm wondering what it would be like to join the Orthodox church.  I've been watching this sweet DVD the monks at Holy Cross Monastery in WV sent me.  It's a mini-doc they made by themselves on day to day life at the monastery, work, eat, prayer schedule.  What it's like living together. etc.  I must have watched it at least two dozen times since I got it last week.  They also were kind enough to send me a small booklet all about Akathist, The Inexhaustible Cup.  A devotion to Theotokos, the mother of God, the Virgin Mary.  This devotion is said to be beneficial for addicts and alcoholics, as the Akathist took away a peasant man's taste for booze permanently.   Plus, I got some beautiful new postcatd sized icons to hang on my walls.  I sent my friend Eric one today.  Eric's in the joint doing a year, minimum.  He just got there a month ago, according to the internerd.  I sent him a small package of things I know are allowed to be sent in: religious postcars, pictures, icon's, papers, etc.
  So yeah, Orthodox Christianity, "spreading the truth since 33 a.d.!"
  Several fanzines got read by yours truly this past week.   A few issues of Chumpire, and a nice little read called "Baby Tee's & Chain Wallets" from like 1998 I think.  Oh, Chumpire #160 was about eight pages long which I believe is one of the longest issues he ever made.  Usually they range from a 1/2 page to three pages, tops.  Issue #160 was all about a trip to Argentina.  It's very well written and actually interesting.    ,,,,,,,More later

Nick Cave, Nick Drake, Nick Lowe...

nick cave nick drake nick lowe low things we lost in the fire firestorm storm cloud cloud that band on genet records record collection urine collection criminal record record player player hater hate the player hate the game game over game face face to face face tomorrow mouthpiece piece by piece rest in pieces pieces on the ground wait now turn around pick those pieces off the ground ground work work horse horse the band the band the band the band we're an american band bandit bandits what a ditz the clash clash of interests lack of interest spazz lack of interest split split up split lip for the love of the wounded wounded jnee knee jerk reaction in your living room operation ivy lyrics rancid lyrics rancid vat vatican punk punks on parade bulls on parade parade rest that band on moo cow records that did a split seven inch with i forgot who who dunnit the who whosover belies in him shall not perish but have everlasting life life's halt halt right there there goes my girl girl friend thank you for being my friend thank you for being alive i thank you for the times you told me i'd be all right and for the times we talked all night thank you for being my friend thank you for being alive alive alive i'm too dead to be alive feels like i;m looking through dead man's eyes dead eyes under put out a ten inch record on plus minus minus the bear got their name from the movie bj and the bear and they said minus the bear so that means bj i was in j block with a black thug wanna be small time dope pusher and peddler named bj which is almost like aj and i have an old friend named aj who is in state prison and has been for a while and probably wii be for a while longer ;ong time jerk she hits me where it hurts that long time jerk time and time again that fabulous record from capture the flag from ann arbor ypsi detroit southeast michigan they put out two albums on conquer the world like the bad religion song ctw records is ok by me despite what others say and time and time again is an awesome record.

Lots and Lots and Lots........

.....of stuff to write about.  I don't know where to begin sometimes.  Got a hold of one of the guys who did/does the fanzine "Death To The World," that awesome Orthodox Christian fanzine from the mid 90's.  The 'zine did 22 issues so day, and I have #'s 3-8.  It looks good, all black and white with pictures of icons, Orthodox saints, stories of saints and real cool events from the Orthodox tradition.  They've begun working on new issues and one of the guys is sending me a few back issues that I missed.
Read an old issue of "Stay Gold Jessie, Stay Gold" fanzine tonight.  Not much to it, about 40 pages, 1/4 size, with a few stories of trying to hop trains and some crudely drawn comics. This kid used to write tome and send me new coies of his 'zine whenever they came out.  Nice guy...
Paid off my library debts and borrowed a few books last week!  Excellent, because we have one of the most beautiful libraries in Ypsilanti, MI. with a plethora of religious / spiritual books.  I'm gonna be busy all summer! 
Currently reading or thinking about reading or read:

 "A New Reformation" by Matthew Fox

"Visions & Longings: Medieval Women Mystics" by Monica Furlong

"Great Christian Thinkers" by Hans Kung

"Mary: A Catholic / Evangelical Debate" by D. Longnecker & D. Gustafson

"The Collar" by Jonathan Englert

"Jesus in Egypt: Discovering the Secrets of Christ's Childhood Years" by Paul Perry

"Galileo Goes to Jail" by Ron Numbers

"Selecting the Pope: Uncovering the Mysteries of Papal Elections" by Greg Tobin

"The Conclave" by M. Walsh

"The Cloud of Unknowing" by anonymous (I finally got a copy of this!  I've been looking for two years and didn't even know it was readily available!)

"Is the Bible Intolerant? Sexist? Oppressive? Homophobic? etc" by Amy Orr-Ewing

"The Mountain of Silence: A Search for Orthodox Spirituality" by Kyriacos Markides  (I've been on a big Orthodoxy kick or quest lately. Started a couple years ago. Then I read a great little book called "The Orthodox Church" by who I can't remember. Then finding all the old copies of "Death To The World" fanzine from 1996 and making contact with that zinester. And a few more things that have kinda' popped up into my life.  God's telling me something and fortunately I'm sober enough to listen!)

"The Inner Journey: Views from the Christian Tradition" by L. Kisly

"Cracking the DaVinci Code" by Simon Cox
"Beyond Illusion & Doubt" by A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

"The Art of Happiness" by The Dalai Lama

"Dalai Lama: Man, Mystic, Monk, an Authorized Biography" by Mayank Chhaya

"The Dream World of H.P. Lovecraft" by Donald Tyson

"Secret Societies & the Hermetic Code" by Ernesto (cool name!) Frers

.......................and there's some fanzines I want to mention: "Between Hope & Hopelessness" a little 1/4 sized zine, "That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore" another little (in size) zine and only a few pages long. Issue #1 is eight pages, and #2 is sixteen pages.  Total SMITHS & Morrissey worship.  Pictures of them on every page with mini rants about hardcore, heartbreak, and head trips.  This is the epitome of the mid 90's "emo-zine' or "per zine."  Stories all about the author being a "23 year old trapped in constant confusion" and wanting someone to love. Cut & paste, b & w and it looks simple but good. The guy probably made 50 copies of this thing to pass out at hardcore shows in 1994 and certainly no ones cares about this sixteen years later. Except me.  "Chumpire," which I may have mentioned before, and a one-off thingy called "Race Traitor."  

 There are many more books I've read and/or acquired in the past few months that I will write about soon.  Plus, I've got several journal entries that need to go up here soon, as well as some rants and raves that I've been writing in my journals.  Story ideas, pictures of some collaging I've done recently, and some black pen & ink drawings my brother and I have been working on.  Oh, that reminds me...I found a scanner/copier/fax/printer all in one machine in the garbage of my communal laundry room.  Sadly, it's not working when it get's hooked up because there's no ink cartridge in it.  Like, it won't even let me scan stuff into the computer or respond to any commands.  We think since there's not even an empty ink cartridge in the machine that it just won't do anything.  I'm gonna email HP and see if they can tell me how to get it working. ...............More tomorrow.

Ghoul's Night Out & God's Grace

This is the ghoul's night out
Suffer unto me
Devils born in angels' arms
Ghouls in heaven's fall
This is the ghoul's night out
All ghouls go to hell
Humans held on eating flesh
It's my destiny
 Hell is where you want to be
I feel the hell on you and me
I feel it every day
Hell is where you want to be
I feel the hell on you and me
It never goes away
Ghouls, ghouls, ghouls night out, destiny.
-MISFITS
 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
 //Had a good night tonight!  Saw Cheryl and went to an "open talk" style AA mtg and listened to a kid-with-his-shit-together give a brief synopsis of how his life used to suck and how great God is in his life. Prayed vocally with a large group of friends, acquaintances, & strangers.  Wandered around a Meijer Superstore just like we did back in high school, sans the LSD.  Watched an episode of "House" and wondered how the hell this guy has and friends at all and is employed!  Cheryl & I agreed that his character is a douche bag, namely the way he treats everyone around him.  Yeah, this isn't a revelation or anything ground breaking to anyone who watches this show (which I did religiously, until I got religion) but just an observation that bears repeating.  "House" was or is insanely popular, and I do love the way they portray his addiction, as someone who has lived through that. It's accurate, though not realistic.  Which is my point, this dude would've been fired a long time ago, had his medical license yanked, lost all of his friends, and turned to giving head for heroin.  THEN, he'd make it into recovery from addiction, make some new friends, get his medical license back & get a job.  THAT would be more realistic.  Maybe I'll write more about this show another time.  It's worth it.  Speaking of things spiraling out of control.....later on in the evening I ran into a person I used to work with who has relapsed back in to her addiction. She was very drunk. She's got a new hair style and and breast implants, so I guess it's OK to get piss drunk now.  Oh well, all I can really do is pray for her and keep her in my thoughts!  "But for the grace of God go I..."//

Some Food for Thought...

Marc from Bad Catholic blog sent me this link.  I (like millions of other human beings, I hope) have been struggling with how to digest the news of Bin Laden's execution.  How exactly should I feel about this?  Well OK, feelings really aren't good or bad.  They're individually ours and they just "are."  But as a Catholic Christian, how should I process this news?  And, should I think any more differently than my Buddhist girlfriend does?
  Sauteed ginger-tofu, cilantro lime redskins, and steamed green beans, a.k.a. food for thought

And here's what my girlfriend, Cheryl had to say....


  "I don't know how people like MLK, Mother Theresa, Ghandi, HH the Dali Lama, Pope John Paul II, etc., do it.   I'm not sure how to love *everyone* that unconditionally.   I don't hate anyone, and I do forgive.  I think we should forgive, we have to.       But just because we forgive doesn't mean we forget.   Dancing in the streets to celebrate OBL death makes us no better than those who danced in the street to celebrate the deaths of thousands of Americans on 9/11, and as an American I'd like to think that we ARE better than those who celebrated the deaths on 9/11.
Do I think the world will be a brighter place now that OBL is gone?   Hardly.   We did what we had to do.   I believe that sometimes death is necessary.  This had to happen.  We could not let him live.      The only thing you'll see me rejoicing in is the fact that it was Obama who got the job done!!! 4 more years, baby!"



"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

-- Martin Luther King, Jr

Some Fanzines...

Read some semi - crappy fanzines last night.  "Mishap" issue #11....This 'zine is sometimes called "Mayhap" or "Mayham," done by a guy in Portland, OR.  Don't know why he kept changing the name around.  This is a 1/2 size deal laid out with a typewriter, x-acto knife, and sharpie pen.  Lots of thoughts about anarchy, the "ten signs of being normal" (???), some hitchhiking stories, and something unique to this 'zine --ongoing science-fiction / fantasy / horror stories written by the author.  All nicely done.  Even the non-fiction pieces on anarchy are intelligently written.  Some letters from readers, and the low-down on the annual Anarchist Conference in Portland, plus anti-cop rants (surprise surprise).  All in all a pretty heady read full of well thought out arguments.  I have about seven or eight issues, since this kid used to send me several issues at one time and he was pretty prolific back in 1998-2004 or so.
"Moshi Moshi" which I think she said means "thank you" in Japanese, but I'm too lazy to walk three feet to look through the 'zine and verify this.  I'm also too lazy right now to open anew tab on my browser, where this and every other PIECE OF INFORMATION IN THE ENTIRE WORLD is at my fingertips.  God bless the internerd.  Haha, I'm listening to NOFX "Ribbed," right now!  Forgot what a great album this is!  Seriously haven't played this in at least eight or nine years.  I still remember all the lyrics, especially to "New Boobs!"  I remember when these guys ruled (in my mind.)  I also remember them opening for BAD RELIGION in 1990 (?) when they both played in the gymnasium at Oakland Community College.  No stage, all the bands played on the floor.  Mostly I remember the Toledo straightedge skinheads were there and now I'm wondering if MAJORITY OF ONE (from Toledo) also played.  That woulda' been around the time M.O.O. were big.  Well, big in the sense that kids from Toledo would actually drive 90 minutes to see them open for a touring punk band.  And this was also the time that there were actual straightedge skins in the scene.  Hmmmm...OK..."Moshi Moshi"...a cute little 1/4 size 'zine done by a chick named Lauren who also did "Pussy Cat Vision" fanzine.  This looks similar in layout to PCV.  Lauren says that many of her views and morals have changed and thus it was time for a new fanzine to replace the old.  She's sixteen, from Baltimore and loves hardcore.  A funny-ass rant about how her mom who is 48 has a bff who is a 17 year old dude!  Haha, everyone thinks this guy's sleeping with her mom, but mom insists that while she does love her bff, it's strictly platonic.  Lots of cute background pics and line sketches.  Everything smells of emo.  Super sensitive writings et al.  And almost as an aside she mentions that she just started making herself throw-up to lose weight.  WTF!?!  She devotes less than a page of this 'zine to this all kinds of fucked up disorder!  She then says she has stopped doing this...kinda'.  But, "food is calling my name."  Sad.  This little 'zine was done in 1994.  Lauren is about 33 now.  I wonder if she still loves hardcore and still pukes.  And sticking with the 1/4 size cute 'zines, I read issue #126 of "Chumpire" done by a dude named Greg.  This is a spit issue with "Raw Pogo On Scafold" #14.5.  Chumpire has been around for a long time and Greg's done many many issues, or at least he had by 1999, when this came out.  I remember this issue came with an awesome CD of mostly Japanese psychedelic music.  I loved that CD and listened to it all the time but it got stolen along with my other 899 CD's!!!  I'd put that CD in my discman, and then follow it up with that one weird CD from BIDDY'S LOVE MONKEY, a local band who I knew very little about except there was some weird psych instrumental mixed into an album of chugga-chugga mosh core.  I'm serious!  Anyhow I'm gonna' email Greg Chumpire right now to see if I can get some newer copies of the 'zine as well as that old CD comp.  I think he also included a compilation record especially made for a different issue of Chumpire, if I remember correctly.  This issue he includes a cool ABC of PA, name dropping bands, zines, record stores, etc from his home state. Cool.  The Raw Pogo...half is mostly reviews of Japanese music that I've never heard of.  Boring.
 I read a couple more things that I'll talk about tomorrow....."Liza & Louise" is a great song, even if NOFX suck these days.
  See you in the pit! 

Debbie Harry 1977 & The Great Heist Of 2009

   Debbie Harry - Blondie, Coney Island, NY, 1977 | Bob Gruen

  This is a fantastic picture!!!   I wish I was a bit older and a bit more active (to say the least) during this era of punk-rock (or just rock -n- roll, depending on who you ask).   BLONDIE, THE RAMONES, TELEVISION, TALKING HEADS, RICHARD HELL, DEAD BOYS......in other words, that whole original CBGB's scene.   Honestly, I'm not know nor have I ever been, a huge RAMONES fan.  I don't even own any of their albums  (though I did have that one with the song "Somebody Put Something In My Drink."  My momma gave it to me for Christmas in like, 1985 or '86.  Decent enough record and great song!), but I did download their discography last year --it accidentally got deleted from my computer.

   Which reminds me.....this is something I constantly worry & fret about:  having all of my music get deleted from my computer or my external hard drive.  I know no one who is in contact with this stuff would purposely do it, but hell, accidents happen and 30 GB'd of stuff WAS accidentally erased a little while ago.   And ever since my CD & DVD collection got ripped off it's been something that I have more and more anxiety over.  Thank God that my hard drive wasn't in that apartment when I left and everything got picked through, stolen, sold, and thrown out.  This here external h.d. is all I've got left.  The few dozen pictures stored on it and the 175 GB's of music are what's left of my life.   Nine hundred CDs, CD - R's, DVD's, boxes and boxes of photos (including the negatives), clothes (a dozen beautiful Fred Perry & Ben Sherman shirts included!), my NEARLY BRAND NEW Doc Martens, poster, flyers, expensive down blankets, books, magazines, and fanzines -----GONE!!!    The feelings of hatred, anger, and betrayal are things I've had to deal with over the last two years.   I've learned to let go of all the negative thoughts associated with that incident and more or less move on.  Of course I filed a police report and of curse those bitches didn't do anything.  I don't know what I was thinking when I marched in to see the 5-O and try to ally myself with those dirty crooks.  I guess I was following advice from friends and I guess this is how normal people solve similar problems.   It did me no good.  Even when I gave them names & contact info of the person (s) who did it.   Lesson learned  --never trust the cops to solve your problems.

"As Far As My Feet Will Carry Me" & "Lovers Quarrel"

//Just got finished reading "As Far As My Feet..."  by Josef M. Bauer.  WOW!  What a fantastic book this is!  I was stuck to every page and didn't want to put it down --not even to get to sleep!  that's really the test of a book's quality, can you fight off sleep in order to push forward with reading?  Anyhow, this is the story of a German guy who gets sentenced to 25 years of hard labor in a Siberian prison work-camp.  He spends a couple years there before finally escaping for good (he has a half-hearted escape attempt, but is quickly recaptured).  The book chronicles his three year and two month journey walking back to Germany!  Holy crap, walking?  Yes, most of his travels are made walking.  But this book has loads of train hopping tales, as well as hitch hiking, being a stowaway, sledding, etc. The escapee, Forell apparently told his story to the author, who turned it into this book.  Pretty sweet how Forell learns how to hunt, cook, impersonate people, bullshit, and more!  It's like a great adventure novel crossed with a punk-rock travel 'zine!  For real!  So find this book 'cuz I guarantee you'll be enthralled with it!
//I also read issue #2 of "Lover's Quarrel" written by a kid named Ravi from Princeton, NJ in 1994.  This kid is in love with hardcore, veganism, and straightedge.  Lots of cute emo-ness in the form of sketches and pictures, as well as some sappy writings.  I guess this dude was involved in running that organization, Earthwell out of NJ in the 90's.  They put on fundraiser shows, benefits for causes like "Food Not Bombs", sexual assault awareness literature, animal rights, fanzines, and I believe they put out a few records.  A worthy cause in the hardcore scene of the time.  This issues got at least three ads for 'zines done from folks in Princeton, NJ, Ravi's town.  Which just goes to show how many people actually did fanzines as well as playing in bands, booking shows, etc.

M.I.A.

 //Listening to this M.I.A. album, "After The Fact," pretty damn good and something I've overlooked considering it came out in the mid 1980's!!!  Posting this now to remind myself to write more about them later.  Am I the only one who uses the internerd to write notes?  Online stickys!

Thre's No "I" In Team But There Is a "me"

Also, there is no "u" in Colombia.  Even when you change it to Colombian.   I've seen it in magazines, on advertisements, on labels in grocery stores, everywhere you could use the word Colombia, I've seen it as Columbian.  And no, I don't mean like Columbus or pre-Columbian.  I mean like the kind of coffee, which is also a country i hear.

CAR VS DRIVER // GUILT // LET THE DAY BEGIN

CAR vs. DRIVER...This band is fucking phenomenal!!!  I always knew they existed but never really paid much attention to them!  They fit in perfectly with so many of the other emotional hardcore bands of the early to mid 90's.  On some songs the singer sounds EXACTLY like the dude from MONSULA!   Anyhow last night I listened to "Under A Silent Sky" and was just completely mesmerized.
Lately my favorite state of being is just laying in bed reading (anything --old fanzines, catalogs, books, the new issue of MRR, and old issues of "Profane Existence"etc) and listening to old albums on my new mp3 player.  Just blown (or re-blown. Is that a word?) away by a few things, like that CAR VS DRIVER album.  I also listened to the GUILT "Synesthesia" record.   Remember, the10" from 1993 or so?  Put out on the late, great Initial Records from Louisville, just like the band.  GUILT was a side project from Duncan, one of the guitar players from ENDPOINT.  Before they were GUILT they were STEPDOWN.  The only recorded STEPDOWN music I have is the song "Giving Tree" from the "Voice Of The Voiceless" animal rights compilation.  Remember that record?  I think Doghouse Records put it out with the help of one or two other labels.  Awesome comp!  Anyhow that STEPDOWN song is great.  Doesn't really sound much like GUILT at all.
OK, so I kinda' found part two of the CAR vs DRIVER discography CD on a mediafire link, but I've yet to find part one.  My hard drive is sooooooo full, I'm having a hard time NOT downloading everything I find lately.  That's why I'm accepting donations for the new 2TB external hard drive on sale over at www.tigerdirect.com.  Help!!!
"Let The Day Begin" by SAMHAIN is such a great song!!!  From the awesome "November Coming Fire" album! It just popped up on my winamp player set to random.  I qued up this bootleg SAMHAIN record that I downloaded a few weeks ago with that song, and I'm disappointed to find out that it's just the regular studio version.  Oh well, I'll delete it since I don't have the hd space anyhow.  Oh, that reminds me --I opened an account with an online storage service, www.adrive.com.  Is this trustworthy?  They give you 50GB's of free storage but I'm a little hesitant to start loading it up if my files could disappear at any time or be held hostage by them trying to get me to upgrade to a premium membership.  I've put a few gig's of stuff on there so far.  I could open a few more accounts, all you need is a different email addy to do that.  I guess theoretically I could open several accounts and store all my stuff on there.  Also, I would be able to access my files from anywhere.  One major drawback, besides not knowing if they're trustworthy, is that it takes sooooooo long to upload stuff to my account!!!  About 1/2 an hour for 1GB!!!!   I don't have the patience to babysit files being uploaded no the trust to do it when I'm not actively using the computer.
So far tonight's been a good on musically: MONSULA (awesome rough pop-punk ala CRIMPSHRINE on Lookout Records), THE ALLIGATORS (Roger Miret with straightedge band INSTED), CALIBAN, (German vegan-edge-metal), THE CARRIER (sounds a LOT like MODERN LIFE IS WAR --and that's a GOOD thing!), COLEMAN (excellent emo), ELEMENTS OF NEED (great 90's emo), SAMIAM (man, these songs from the album "Astray" are rocking my world! This album, and "You Are Freaking Me Out" are two of the most unlistened to albums from SAMIAM in my collection. big mistake!), ROT IN HELL (sounds like RINGWORM but they're from the UK), THE ERGS! (so mad that I've slept on these guys for so long! Not anymore, I'm all up in these bitches!) and so much more!  I'm outta here!   See ya'll tomorrow!  Yeah, tomorrow....a good day!  See my girlfriend, hit up the book shelves at the Salvation Army thrift shop, maybe hit an AA mtg...just not in that order.