Hundreds & Hundreds of Books......

...to read!!!  I'm backed up about 225 books right now!  YIKES!!!  I've also got about three hundred fanzines that need to be re-read.  I have to periodically look through my library to be reminded of what I own.  I used to do that with my music collection since I would, on many occasions, buy a 7" or CD that I already owned!  Every time I went to a hardcore fest I would come home with 25 - 100 new 7"'s, LP's, & CD's.  Not to mention a couple of dozen demo tapes.  Man I loved those demo's!  Still do.  My favorite part of MRR (Maximum Rock n Roll fanzine for you non-punks) has always been the demo's review section and the fanzine review section.  I don't even know how many times I would get the new issue (usually at Borders...ugggghhh, that's a whole other blog post --to come sometime soon) and read it with a pen in my hand to mark the thing that I wanted to order.  You can't get much more D.I.Y. than sending off $3 to some kid for his bands crappy (most of the times) demo cassette.  Or a couple of bux for the first and only issue of a new 'zine.  But actually many times the demo's would turn out to be awesome and some of the bands best work.  And to me it was always worth it for just a few dollars.  Getting a letter and small package in the mail from Singapore or Poland....cool as all hell!  A hand-written note on the back of a punk show flyer, thanking me for buying his band's demo!  Or being one of the lucky fifty people to get the first issue or the last issue of some fanzine.  I vividly remember getting the newest issue of "In Abandon" fanzine done by that kid Mike in south Florida...Tampa to be exact.  It turned out to be his last also.  I went to my p.o. box in downtown Ann Arbor at around 9:30a.m. one sunny late summer/early fall day.  Those perfect sunny-but-not-humid days we experience mid September here in Michigan!  I grabbed a nice, fat stack of mail and drove over to the small park near St. Francis church & school. Sat in the freshly mowed grass and opened a manilla envelope from Mikey in Tampa. I was blown away at the outstanding printing job he or someone else did with the 'zine!  The blacks were ultra dark and super crisp, all the lines were sharp, and the drawings were vivid.  It was printed on a heavier bright white paper.  Lots and lots of block lettering and weird/cool drawings and doodles.  An awesome story about going on tour with his favorite band, who just happen to be comprised of his best friends!  All kinds of anecdotes that punk kids experience being 20 years old and touring the United States in a punked-up van full of sweaty, stinky d00ds and band equipment.  Mike meets and befriends all kinds of interesting people up & down the east coast of our country.  He repeatedly talks about the "revolution at 3 a.m." jolted up on coffee and wide eyed & in love with life!  Such a great 'zine!  I never got to meet Mike though I did write him a few times.  A bit later I saw that hed done a bunch of artwork for the REVERSAL OF MAN records who he was good friends with.  And I saw something he did for the band BRIGHT CALM BLUE.   I recently pulled out that very issue of In Abandon and re-read parts of it.  I also wound up buying the two previous issues of that 'zine.  Twelve years later those fanzines are still great!

Lots & Lots of stuff...

...but most notably the fact that my computer hard drive crashed and I lost over 250 GB's of music, photos, videos, documents, resume, bookmarks, etc.  I am completely devastated.  I can't even begin to express my grief.  I'm mos def not over-reacting, those who know me know that my music is one of the most important things in the world to me.  I lost files that I will NEVER, EVER get back or be able to find again.  There were so many obscure, underground, hard to find, out of press, never-released-on-CD recordings that I'm so overwhelmed as to where to start collecting it again.  The hard drive (which is now in a box on the table next to me) stands a better chance of fixing itself, than I do of even finding HALF of all that music again.
 What would YOU do?  What should I do?
 In 2009 my entire CD collection (over 900 CD's) was stolen and never recovered.  At that time ALL of my photos, clothing, Doc Martens, books, 'zines, furniture, etc was also stolen & thrown out.  I'm STILL not over that, especially when I know who did it and the police won't follow through with the charges I filed.  Well, what can you expect from a bunch of monkeys.  Police are, by nature, slow, lazy, and inept.   Essentially worthless but it seemed the only recourse I had at that time.
I've gotta figure something out.  Man, sooooooo many of my lost files were vinyl-only 7"s & LP's with all the art-work & lyrics scanned in with them.  I spent countless hours up all night at the computer organizing and cleaning all my folder.  I have about 4 GB's saved at adrive.com, about 7 GB's on my ipod, and 12 GB's burned onto two DVD's.  If ONLY I had burned more shizzit to DVD.....if only.

Nothing Left To Grasp s/t 7"

WOW!  What a great record!!!  From Germany and released in 1996.  Completely "90's emocore sounding band.  At times they sound like FRAIL or STILL LIFE.  For some reason I don't ever remember hearing of this band.  I could've easily seen their 7"s in a distro box at any number of hardcore shows in the late 90's.  And back then I was buying just about every single record in every single distro box.  Yeah, this is some great hardcorepunk.  Just found a split they did with KASSIOPEIA and their demo.  Here's a link to a blog called Make Friends With Time (couldn't agree more!) where there's a post about this band with a link to download what looks like their entire discography from mediafire: Make Friends With Time  As usual, there's nothing like finding or discovering new bands you never heard!  Especially when they kick ass! 
  OK, more resumes to send off....more on-line applications to fill out.  I even filled out apps at Wendy's & Tim Horton's when I was there yesterday.  They probably won't hire someone with a checkered past, but I'll give it a shot.

Eastern Orthodox Christianity & Chumpire Fanzine....

...I've been on a big Orthodox Christian kick lately.  I've always been amazed and mystified by this branch of Christianity, so this isn't anything particularly new.  But after I made contact with the zinesters who did/do "Death to the World" fanzine (which is all abut Orthodox, kinda from a punk rock slant), and started emailing around for more info, my interest & curiosity got even stronger.  I think I may have written about this before.  Sometimes I get confused about whether I wrote something on here, in my paper blog (aka journal), as a post on facebook or in a conversation with Cheryl or someone else.  I'm becoming a ditz....brain farts and "slow" moments.   Ahhhh, it's just growing old I guess.  This Orthodoxy thing is a trip though.  Somehow in the back of my head I'm wondering what it would be like to join the Orthodox church.  I've been watching this sweet DVD the monks at Holy Cross Monastery in WV sent me.  It's a mini-doc they made by themselves on day to day life at the monastery, work, eat, prayer schedule.  What it's like living together. etc.  I must have watched it at least two dozen times since I got it last week.  They also were kind enough to send me a small booklet all about Akathist, The Inexhaustible Cup.  A devotion to Theotokos, the mother of God, the Virgin Mary.  This devotion is said to be beneficial for addicts and alcoholics, as the Akathist took away a peasant man's taste for booze permanently.   Plus, I got some beautiful new postcatd sized icons to hang on my walls.  I sent my friend Eric one today.  Eric's in the joint doing a year, minimum.  He just got there a month ago, according to the internerd.  I sent him a small package of things I know are allowed to be sent in: religious postcars, pictures, icon's, papers, etc.
  So yeah, Orthodox Christianity, "spreading the truth since 33 a.d.!"
  Several fanzines got read by yours truly this past week.   A few issues of Chumpire, and a nice little read called "Baby Tee's & Chain Wallets" from like 1998 I think.  Oh, Chumpire #160 was about eight pages long which I believe is one of the longest issues he ever made.  Usually they range from a 1/2 page to three pages, tops.  Issue #160 was all about a trip to Argentina.  It's very well written and actually interesting.    ,,,,,,,More later

Nick Cave, Nick Drake, Nick Lowe...

nick cave nick drake nick lowe low things we lost in the fire firestorm storm cloud cloud that band on genet records record collection urine collection criminal record record player player hater hate the player hate the game game over game face face to face face tomorrow mouthpiece piece by piece rest in pieces pieces on the ground wait now turn around pick those pieces off the ground ground work work horse horse the band the band the band the band we're an american band bandit bandits what a ditz the clash clash of interests lack of interest spazz lack of interest split split up split lip for the love of the wounded wounded jnee knee jerk reaction in your living room operation ivy lyrics rancid lyrics rancid vat vatican punk punks on parade bulls on parade parade rest that band on moo cow records that did a split seven inch with i forgot who who dunnit the who whosover belies in him shall not perish but have everlasting life life's halt halt right there there goes my girl girl friend thank you for being my friend thank you for being alive i thank you for the times you told me i'd be all right and for the times we talked all night thank you for being my friend thank you for being alive alive alive i'm too dead to be alive feels like i;m looking through dead man's eyes dead eyes under put out a ten inch record on plus minus minus the bear got their name from the movie bj and the bear and they said minus the bear so that means bj i was in j block with a black thug wanna be small time dope pusher and peddler named bj which is almost like aj and i have an old friend named aj who is in state prison and has been for a while and probably wii be for a while longer ;ong time jerk she hits me where it hurts that long time jerk time and time again that fabulous record from capture the flag from ann arbor ypsi detroit southeast michigan they put out two albums on conquer the world like the bad religion song ctw records is ok by me despite what others say and time and time again is an awesome record.

Lots and Lots and Lots........

.....of stuff to write about.  I don't know where to begin sometimes.  Got a hold of one of the guys who did/does the fanzine "Death To The World," that awesome Orthodox Christian fanzine from the mid 90's.  The 'zine did 22 issues so day, and I have #'s 3-8.  It looks good, all black and white with pictures of icons, Orthodox saints, stories of saints and real cool events from the Orthodox tradition.  They've begun working on new issues and one of the guys is sending me a few back issues that I missed.
Read an old issue of "Stay Gold Jessie, Stay Gold" fanzine tonight.  Not much to it, about 40 pages, 1/4 size, with a few stories of trying to hop trains and some crudely drawn comics. This kid used to write tome and send me new coies of his 'zine whenever they came out.  Nice guy...
Paid off my library debts and borrowed a few books last week!  Excellent, because we have one of the most beautiful libraries in Ypsilanti, MI. with a plethora of religious / spiritual books.  I'm gonna be busy all summer! 
Currently reading or thinking about reading or read:

 "A New Reformation" by Matthew Fox

"Visions & Longings: Medieval Women Mystics" by Monica Furlong

"Great Christian Thinkers" by Hans Kung

"Mary: A Catholic / Evangelical Debate" by D. Longnecker & D. Gustafson

"The Collar" by Jonathan Englert

"Jesus in Egypt: Discovering the Secrets of Christ's Childhood Years" by Paul Perry

"Galileo Goes to Jail" by Ron Numbers

"Selecting the Pope: Uncovering the Mysteries of Papal Elections" by Greg Tobin

"The Conclave" by M. Walsh

"The Cloud of Unknowing" by anonymous (I finally got a copy of this!  I've been looking for two years and didn't even know it was readily available!)

"Is the Bible Intolerant? Sexist? Oppressive? Homophobic? etc" by Amy Orr-Ewing

"The Mountain of Silence: A Search for Orthodox Spirituality" by Kyriacos Markides  (I've been on a big Orthodoxy kick or quest lately. Started a couple years ago. Then I read a great little book called "The Orthodox Church" by who I can't remember. Then finding all the old copies of "Death To The World" fanzine from 1996 and making contact with that zinester. And a few more things that have kinda' popped up into my life.  God's telling me something and fortunately I'm sober enough to listen!)

"The Inner Journey: Views from the Christian Tradition" by L. Kisly

"Cracking the DaVinci Code" by Simon Cox
"Beyond Illusion & Doubt" by A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

"The Art of Happiness" by The Dalai Lama

"Dalai Lama: Man, Mystic, Monk, an Authorized Biography" by Mayank Chhaya

"The Dream World of H.P. Lovecraft" by Donald Tyson

"Secret Societies & the Hermetic Code" by Ernesto (cool name!) Frers

.......................and there's some fanzines I want to mention: "Between Hope & Hopelessness" a little 1/4 sized zine, "That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore" another little (in size) zine and only a few pages long. Issue #1 is eight pages, and #2 is sixteen pages.  Total SMITHS & Morrissey worship.  Pictures of them on every page with mini rants about hardcore, heartbreak, and head trips.  This is the epitome of the mid 90's "emo-zine' or "per zine."  Stories all about the author being a "23 year old trapped in constant confusion" and wanting someone to love. Cut & paste, b & w and it looks simple but good. The guy probably made 50 copies of this thing to pass out at hardcore shows in 1994 and certainly no ones cares about this sixteen years later. Except me.  "Chumpire," which I may have mentioned before, and a one-off thingy called "Race Traitor."  

 There are many more books I've read and/or acquired in the past few months that I will write about soon.  Plus, I've got several journal entries that need to go up here soon, as well as some rants and raves that I've been writing in my journals.  Story ideas, pictures of some collaging I've done recently, and some black pen & ink drawings my brother and I have been working on.  Oh, that reminds me...I found a scanner/copier/fax/printer all in one machine in the garbage of my communal laundry room.  Sadly, it's not working when it get's hooked up because there's no ink cartridge in it.  Like, it won't even let me scan stuff into the computer or respond to any commands.  We think since there's not even an empty ink cartridge in the machine that it just won't do anything.  I'm gonna email HP and see if they can tell me how to get it working. ...............More tomorrow.

Ghoul's Night Out & God's Grace

This is the ghoul's night out
Suffer unto me
Devils born in angels' arms
Ghouls in heaven's fall
This is the ghoul's night out
All ghouls go to hell
Humans held on eating flesh
It's my destiny
 Hell is where you want to be
I feel the hell on you and me
I feel it every day
Hell is where you want to be
I feel the hell on you and me
It never goes away
Ghouls, ghouls, ghouls night out, destiny.
-MISFITS
 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
 //Had a good night tonight!  Saw Cheryl and went to an "open talk" style AA mtg and listened to a kid-with-his-shit-together give a brief synopsis of how his life used to suck and how great God is in his life. Prayed vocally with a large group of friends, acquaintances, & strangers.  Wandered around a Meijer Superstore just like we did back in high school, sans the LSD.  Watched an episode of "House" and wondered how the hell this guy has and friends at all and is employed!  Cheryl & I agreed that his character is a douche bag, namely the way he treats everyone around him.  Yeah, this isn't a revelation or anything ground breaking to anyone who watches this show (which I did religiously, until I got religion) but just an observation that bears repeating.  "House" was or is insanely popular, and I do love the way they portray his addiction, as someone who has lived through that. It's accurate, though not realistic.  Which is my point, this dude would've been fired a long time ago, had his medical license yanked, lost all of his friends, and turned to giving head for heroin.  THEN, he'd make it into recovery from addiction, make some new friends, get his medical license back & get a job.  THAT would be more realistic.  Maybe I'll write more about this show another time.  It's worth it.  Speaking of things spiraling out of control.....later on in the evening I ran into a person I used to work with who has relapsed back in to her addiction. She was very drunk. She's got a new hair style and and breast implants, so I guess it's OK to get piss drunk now.  Oh well, all I can really do is pray for her and keep her in my thoughts!  "But for the grace of God go I..."//